Dear Camp Electric Youth

You'll be receiving my video audition shortly. Debbie Gibson, I've been waiting all my life for this moment. See you in July!



You can make your Electric Youth dreams come true too.

Dear Dry Pack Cannery

As part of my calling as co-chair of the Provident Living Committee (aka Temporal Welfare aka Food Storage, Employment & Financial Advisor), my co-chair and I organized a trip to the Dry Pack Cannery at Welfare Square for our ward. Five people showed (myself included) plus our second counselor in the bishopric. It's a proven fact that singles don't get uber excited about food storage but I can't see the harm in starting a small one for myself. True, I won't need 30 lbs of wheat, but hey, rice, sugar, dried apples, macaroni - sign me up for a can of each! I must admit I had a good time...even if I did have to get up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. At least I know I'm earning heaven points and when the end of the world comes, I'll have my dried apples & starter kit to save me from starvation.

Dear Blog Readers

Thank you for convincing me I should stop being paranoid and return to granting everyone permission to view/read my random rantings. It's not like the CIA couldn't find a way to hack into it or the computer programmers/hackers/IT geniuses at work...

Dear POS 1998 Plymouth Breeze

Please stop squeeling when I turn the steering wheel.
You have power steering fluid.
I know it's cold, BUT...you don't see me squeeling every time I turn a corner.
Keep this up and I'll get a new car...sooner rather than later.

Dear January 15

Dear Wells Fargo -
I hate you. You suck. Give me back my money.

Dear Creeper -
Stop talking to me. Stop looking at me. Stop emailing me - I don't care if it's my job. Just stop. Stop. Stop.

Dear Cute Little Kids everywhere,
Thank you for being so cute. You make me want to be little again. Simpler times.

Dear January 10

Dear Bedroom Curtains,
Thank you for blocking out unnecessary light so I can sleep like a baby. You have made it more difficult to get up in the morning. I have no sense of what time it is with no light coming into my room.






Dear Grey's Anatomy,
Very excited you have a new episode this evening. It's been too long.

Dear CW TV,
Thank you for Gossip Girl. Even though Chuck is the bad bay/_________ of the show, I still love him. Maybe it's because he's British in real life. That definitely doesn't hurt his appeal that's for sure. Anyway, thanks for the weekly guilty pleasure.

Dear Diet Coke,
Thank you for being my sustenance for the day. The caffeine has definitely helped me at least appear alert even if I'm not actually running on all cylinders.







Dear Wallet-that's-gone-missing,
If this some sort of joke, I'm not laughing. You are very crucial to my various day-to-day activities, specifically those pertaining to food.






Dear Yoga Class,
I am sooo looking forward to you this evening. Especially the portion when I get to just lie on my mat and breathe. Bring on the soul detox.

Dear Cutlers Cookies,
Take that! I don't need to eat you to be happy. You may look good but you're packed with calories that I don't need. I'll just have some more Diet Coke thank you very much.









Dear swearing,
I really need to cut all ties with you. I'm beginning to think my coworkers think I have a problem. There has to be another way to express my frustration - and throwing objects is out of the question.

Dear Modern Technology

I thought I would take a moment to reflect on the little things that make this century so much better than centuries past.

Thank you Black & Decker for manufacturing such an easy-to-use drill that made hanging my curtains a breeze. Tim Allen & Home Improvement - eat your heart out.

Thank you cell phones for having alarms that wake me up and get me out of bed each morning. I don't think a Rooster at sunrise would ever cut it.

Thank you car defrosters for making my routine window de-icing each morning happen in 10 minutes. My not-so-numb fingers appreciate it.

Thank you Apple & iPod for making trips to the gym bearable. Too bad NBC and iTunes no longer have a contract this year - I really miss The Office.

Thank you airplanes for being a mode of transportation that is more comfortable and time efficient than a covered wagon. I can visit my friends and family without it taking months and I don't have to arrive covered in dirt and smelling like horse.

Thank you free rental car upgrades that make driving so much more fun - ingenious to have the radio volume increase as the pedal gets put to the metal. GENIUS.

Thank you digital cameras for allowing me to take pictures and instantly remember what happened 2.5 seconds earlier.