Dear Victoria's Secret,

The fact that I can't return my online purchase to your physical store location makes absolutely no sense.

Especially for a company that patents their bras with built-in anti-gravity technology. I would think you'd be able to have a full-coverage return policy.

Pun intended.

Dear Samoa,

Plan on having me attend the temple while I'm out your way - probably not the normal tourist destination - but at least I know there won't be long lines of any kind.

I'm very excited.

Dear Wolverine,

If being excited for the movie premier on May first is wrong...then I don't want to be right.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/wolverine/medium3.html

Dear SLC 5K,

I'm glad I finished you!
However, I would have preferred to win $5K.

Dear Harry Potter,

You are one more reason I can't wait for summer to arrive.
Watch the latest trailer HERE.

Dear Miracle of the Day,

The package I sent to the wrong address was safely retrieved by my wonderful mother.

Which reminds me...

Dear Office of Consumer Postal Affairs,
Please disregard my voicemails.

Dear Friends and Family,

If you send me one of these ecards, it will most likely be a highlight of the day:

http://someecards.com/

Three cheers for clever electronic greetings.

Hip hip...hooray!
Hip hip...horray!
Hip hip...horray!