Dear January 10

Dear Bedroom Curtains,
Thank you for blocking out unnecessary light so I can sleep like a baby. You have made it more difficult to get up in the morning. I have no sense of what time it is with no light coming into my room.






Dear Grey's Anatomy,
Very excited you have a new episode this evening. It's been too long.

Dear CW TV,
Thank you for Gossip Girl. Even though Chuck is the bad bay/_________ of the show, I still love him. Maybe it's because he's British in real life. That definitely doesn't hurt his appeal that's for sure. Anyway, thanks for the weekly guilty pleasure.

Dear Diet Coke,
Thank you for being my sustenance for the day. The caffeine has definitely helped me at least appear alert even if I'm not actually running on all cylinders.







Dear Wallet-that's-gone-missing,
If this some sort of joke, I'm not laughing. You are very crucial to my various day-to-day activities, specifically those pertaining to food.






Dear Yoga Class,
I am sooo looking forward to you this evening. Especially the portion when I get to just lie on my mat and breathe. Bring on the soul detox.

Dear Cutlers Cookies,
Take that! I don't need to eat you to be happy. You may look good but you're packed with calories that I don't need. I'll just have some more Diet Coke thank you very much.









Dear swearing,
I really need to cut all ties with you. I'm beginning to think my coworkers think I have a problem. There has to be another way to express my frustration - and throwing objects is out of the question.

Dear Modern Technology

I thought I would take a moment to reflect on the little things that make this century so much better than centuries past.

Thank you Black & Decker for manufacturing such an easy-to-use drill that made hanging my curtains a breeze. Tim Allen & Home Improvement - eat your heart out.

Thank you cell phones for having alarms that wake me up and get me out of bed each morning. I don't think a Rooster at sunrise would ever cut it.

Thank you car defrosters for making my routine window de-icing each morning happen in 10 minutes. My not-so-numb fingers appreciate it.

Thank you Apple & iPod for making trips to the gym bearable. Too bad NBC and iTunes no longer have a contract this year - I really miss The Office.

Thank you airplanes for being a mode of transportation that is more comfortable and time efficient than a covered wagon. I can visit my friends and family without it taking months and I don't have to arrive covered in dirt and smelling like horse.

Thank you free rental car upgrades that make driving so much more fun - ingenious to have the radio volume increase as the pedal gets put to the metal. GENIUS.

Thank you digital cameras for allowing me to take pictures and instantly remember what happened 2.5 seconds earlier.

Dear December 22

Dear BYU,
Don't blow it against UCLA. I need to be able to brag to all my CA friends.

Dear Sleeping in,
It's been such a long time since we've seen each other. There's no better feeling than waking up at noon. Looking forward to 5 more days of this.

Dear CA Drivers,
I used to think all bad drivers lived in UT - I was wrong. FACT: When merging on the freeway, you increase speed - you don't brake - especially when there is nobody in the lane next to you.

Dear California,
No matter how long I live in Utah and no matter what people in Utah say, Christmas is best when you can go outside with no jacket, gloves, scarf or boots. Thank you for the 65 degree weather. I love winter in California.

Dear Mother's Baking,
Nothing makes me love life more than homemade rolls and banana bread.

Dear December 21

Dear Snow,
If I could be snowboarding right now or sometime over the weekend, I would be very happy to have you around. Unfortunately, I am leaving to CA and you have delayed my flight. I hate you.

Dear Delta Automated Customer Service Voice,
Thank you for informing me that my flight was delayed. If you had told me it was canceled or rescheduled for tomorrow, I would have had to throw my phone. And then IT would have not been very happy with me.

Dear December 20

Dear my favorite New Yorker,
I'm so glad you were born and that we are friends. Happy Freaking Birthday.

Dear Cynthia,
Thank you for being such a wonderful sister who calls me to tell me the roads are bad and I need to be very very careful. It's good to be loved.

Dear my favorite Missourian,
Thank you for driving me home safely last night - you and the Subaru handled the unplowed roads very nicely. And the heated seat was a dream come true.

Dear the Day that would not end...

Dear 9am status call,
Thank you for making me late to my 9:30 status call.

Dear 9:30 status call,
Thank you for making me hate life.

Dear computer,
Thank you for dying 10 minutes after 9:30 status call as I was in the middle of drafting a conference report.

Dear client,
Hope you are okay with getting what you need after Christmas - and actually - I don't care if you're not. Scheduling during the holidays is a ______.

Dear email that I never sent out and now it's too late and pointless to do so,
Whoops and my bad.

Dear lunch that didn't quite cut it,
I wish you had been twice as big.

Dear Thursday,
Please be 6pm so I can shut down my computer, leave my desk and not think about work for at least 12 hours.

Dear gym,
Looking forward to seeing you tonight to blow off steam from the day.

Dear December 18

And the Dear Life continues, letting all those people (who are out of reach or who I can't bring myself to confront face-to-face) know what I really think.

Dear Roommates,
I love you - really I do - but I also love sleeping - especially when it's 2am. FACT: even though we live in an old house and it's rather sturdy, the walls are regrettably NOT sound barriers. I've been patient, but I don't know how much longer it can last, so don't be surprised if I bang pots and pans one morning as I get up to go the gym. Sleep tight!


Dear GNC Nutrionalist,
Thank you for your chipper service this afternoon. Even though I didn't take you up on your recommendation for your favorite supplement 'Milk Muscle,' I am very much looking forward to the PB and Banana Myoplex shake. Yummy.

Dear Bajio,
Thank you for once again providing a wonderful lunch and the aroma of fresh grilled meat - which I can still smell on me. Tasty.

Dear Blackberry Messenger,
Thank you for not transmitting my urgent message to my buddy Sara Jane last night. Luckily she managed to carry out the BFL cardio routine on her own - but next time I expect better transmission - in fact, next time, I actually EXPECT the message to SEND and be RECEIVED. We're talking about a total body transformation in 84 days, and for that I need top-of-the-line service. Thanks.

Dear Boss,
So excited you are having a boy - even though I wanted you to have a girl so you could be my sister's doppelganger - but two boys will be fun. The world needs cute men and with you raising them, it's a for sure thing. Congratulations!

Dear Advertising Parable,
Thank you for accurately representing life at an advertising agency. Bravo!

Dear Sugar-Free Jello,
If it wasn't for you, I'd be eating my arm. Bon appetit.