Dear Lagoon Season Passport Holder

OH WAIT, THAT WOULD BE ME!

Here's to my new lunch break activity starting April 1, 2008. Bring on the funnel cake, cotton candy, roller coaster rides, screams, the lazy river and tan lines. And memories. Lotsa losta memories. Maybe it is nothing more than a glorified state park (this coming from a CA resident - a resident who lived 40 minutes from a 6 Flags and Disneyland) but I have come to the realization that I need to accept Lagoon for what it is and what it is not. Lagoon is an oasis in Farmington. Or more simply put - it's an escape from work.

I'm ready for fun this summer. Every day until October first. Because didn't you know? Lagoon - the fun starts here.

PS - To the sponsor of the season passport - thank you. You're building up touch points plus D.R. would be proud of your financial budgeting and giving.

Dear Problem Solver

Much to my dismay, I'm sending out a disclaimer with my business card. The secondary title of 'Problem Solver' needs some clarification. There comes a point in everyone's career...or life...when one must acknowledge one's own fallible nature. That point has come for me. I will happily help solve problems in any way I can, however, that may not mean I have the solution. Yes, I am admitting that I am not perfect - I do not have all the answers - I can't always fix things (I think this is good that I begin to realize this now, because I feel like once I am a parent, this will be a daily lesson).

I am now and forever stating for the record that I am not an IT consultant. My years in college working on both PCs and Macs have only provided a very shallow basis of understanding the difference between those two platforms - as in, I refuse to do spreadsheets in Excel or PPT presentations on a Mac and I will only use InDesign/Illustrator/Photoshop on a Mac. I've never built a computer, nor had the desire to do so, so when I get asked the question - Why won't that work? - my response of a shoulder shrug will have to suffice. If you need assistance, call customer service tech support at Microsoft or Apple.

Dear Rhyme Wars

Thank you for making me laugh...to the point of tears.
Too bad the boss was around and now thinks I do nothing all day.

Dear Cap'n Crunch

I have never really liked you - you cut up my mouth and you leave this nasty sugar film on top of the milk. However, you found the one thing that would make me CONSIDER consuming you. Driving to work today, I passed a Carl's Jr. and saw you have become a featured shake at that fine fast food restaurant (if you followed the link, click on desserts and the Cap's Crunch shake is top of the list).

Truth - the thought of you blended in with ice cream topped with whipped cream makes my mouth water a little, but you don't fool me. Partnering with my one guilty pleasure - the one thing I usually never refuse - ice cream. Bravo on the marketing tactic. Cap'n Crunch + Ice Cream = No brainer (aka marketing success, right?)

Sneaky. Sneaky. But I see right through you. I'm suspicious that you will still manage to cut up my mouth with the cereal bits that are sure to be left unblended in the shake.

Nice try.

But I still think you are one of the most vile cereals on the market.
Next to Fruity Pebbles.

Dear Sunshine

I love feeling you on my face, arms and legs as I sit next to a pool in St. George. I love tan lines. I wish the sun could shine all year round. I've realized (for the 100th time over I'm sure) that I need to end up in a place that is warm (60+ degrees) at least 9 months out of the year - meaning California (I also would prefer to be by the beach because I know AZ fits the temperature quota, but being land locked doesn't really appeal to me).

Sunshine + beach + tan lines = happiness.

Dear 3-Day Weekends

There are never enough of you.

Dear Inconsiderate People Who Live Out their Rockstar Fantasies in my Basement

Our 1910 hardwood floors do not block all noise originating from the basement - you are a moron if you think otherwise. I don't mind that our backdoor neighbors use our basement as a jam studio, but really, practices that begin at 10pm need to stop...seriously. They need to stop. And don't think that by asking me to play the tambourine I'll forget about the sleep I'm missing. Truth - I hope the neighbors call and make a noise complaint and the cops show up. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I might just make an anonymous call right now...