Dear Problem Solver

Much to my dismay, I'm sending out a disclaimer with my business card. The secondary title of 'Problem Solver' needs some clarification. There comes a point in everyone's career...or life...when one must acknowledge one's own fallible nature. That point has come for me. I will happily help solve problems in any way I can, however, that may not mean I have the solution. Yes, I am admitting that I am not perfect - I do not have all the answers - I can't always fix things (I think this is good that I begin to realize this now, because I feel like once I am a parent, this will be a daily lesson).

I am now and forever stating for the record that I am not an IT consultant. My years in college working on both PCs and Macs have only provided a very shallow basis of understanding the difference between those two platforms - as in, I refuse to do spreadsheets in Excel or PPT presentations on a Mac and I will only use InDesign/Illustrator/Photoshop on a Mac. I've never built a computer, nor had the desire to do so, so when I get asked the question - Why won't that work? - my response of a shoulder shrug will have to suffice. If you need assistance, call customer service tech support at Microsoft or Apple.

Dear Rhyme Wars

Thank you for making me laugh...to the point of tears.
Too bad the boss was around and now thinks I do nothing all day.

Dear Cap'n Crunch

I have never really liked you - you cut up my mouth and you leave this nasty sugar film on top of the milk. However, you found the one thing that would make me CONSIDER consuming you. Driving to work today, I passed a Carl's Jr. and saw you have become a featured shake at that fine fast food restaurant (if you followed the link, click on desserts and the Cap's Crunch shake is top of the list).

Truth - the thought of you blended in with ice cream topped with whipped cream makes my mouth water a little, but you don't fool me. Partnering with my one guilty pleasure - the one thing I usually never refuse - ice cream. Bravo on the marketing tactic. Cap'n Crunch + Ice Cream = No brainer (aka marketing success, right?)

Sneaky. Sneaky. But I see right through you. I'm suspicious that you will still manage to cut up my mouth with the cereal bits that are sure to be left unblended in the shake.

Nice try.

But I still think you are one of the most vile cereals on the market.
Next to Fruity Pebbles.

Dear Sunshine

I love feeling you on my face, arms and legs as I sit next to a pool in St. George. I love tan lines. I wish the sun could shine all year round. I've realized (for the 100th time over I'm sure) that I need to end up in a place that is warm (60+ degrees) at least 9 months out of the year - meaning California (I also would prefer to be by the beach because I know AZ fits the temperature quota, but being land locked doesn't really appeal to me).

Sunshine + beach + tan lines = happiness.

Dear 3-Day Weekends

There are never enough of you.

Dear Inconsiderate People Who Live Out their Rockstar Fantasies in my Basement

Our 1910 hardwood floors do not block all noise originating from the basement - you are a moron if you think otherwise. I don't mind that our backdoor neighbors use our basement as a jam studio, but really, practices that begin at 10pm need to stop...seriously. They need to stop. And don't think that by asking me to play the tambourine I'll forget about the sleep I'm missing. Truth - I hope the neighbors call and make a noise complaint and the cops show up. Actually, that's not a bad idea. I might just make an anonymous call right now...

Life Shouldn't Be Rocket Science

This post is inspired by the 2007 Sundance movie 'Rocket Science.' A movie about a boy trying to figure out life - a boy who stutters [a lot] and decides to join the debate team because of a girl. I only saw the movie once, but the more I've thought about it (the characters, the plot, the writing), I've become rather fond of it.

Lately, I've been in a life funk and I can't figure out what I can do to get out of it. So I thought I would expand on a few things that I wish were a little less complicated...things that shouldn't be rocket science:

WORK - just show up, sit down, think, do, make decisions, follow through and do whatever it is that needs to be done in order for you to do your job (just be ethical about it = don't lie).

DATING - I don't even have the energy to expound. It should just be easier.

GETTING SLIM & TRIM - if a person is exercising regularly and not over-indulging (or even indulging) on their favorite foods, getting in shape should be a cinch. Sadly I think genetics somehow get involved and mess the simplicity of it all. Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.

GETTING YOUR DEPOSIT BACK - this is on behalf of my dear friend Noelle. If a tenant keeps up her end of a contractual agreement (contrary to what the landlord and the landlord's lover says) the tenant should rightfully receive the deposit back.