And the Dear Life continues, letting all those people (who are out of reach or who I can't bring myself to confront face-to-face) know what I really think.
I love you - really I do - but I also love sleeping - especially when it's 2am. FACT: even though we live in an old house and it's rather sturdy, the walls are regrettably NOT sound barriers. I've been patient, but I don't know how much longer it can last, so don't be surprised if I bang pots and pans one morning as I get up to go the gym. Sleep tight!
Dear GNC Nutrionalist,
Thank you for your chipper service this afternoon. Even though I didn't take you up on your recommendation for your favorite supplement 'Milk Muscle,' I am very much looking forward to the PB and Banana Myoplex shake. Yummy.
Thank you for once again providing a wonderful lunch and the aroma of fresh grilled meat - which I can still smell on me. Tasty.
Dear Blackberry Messenger,
Thank you for not transmitting my urgent message to my buddy Sara Jane last night. Luckily she managed to carry out the BFL cardio routine on her own - but next time I expect better transmission - in fact, next time, I actually EXPECT the message to SEND and be RECEIVED. We're talking about a total body transformation in 84 days, and for that I need top-of-the-line service. Thanks.
So excited you are having a boy - even though I wanted you to have a girl so you could be my sister's doppelganger - but two boys will be fun. The world needs cute men and with you raising them, it's a for sure thing. Congratulations!
Dear Advertising Parable,
Thank you for accurately representing life at an advertising agency. Bravo!
Dear Sugar-Free Jello,
If it wasn't for you, I'd be eating my arm. Bon appetit.